I am hosting a Shower for my b-n-l and his fiancee - they need wedding funds vs. gifts..sugestions?

I will be hosting a wedding shower for my brother n law and his financee - there first wedding and her family isn%26#039;t contributing to the wedding at all (mind you her mother has passed)...we are now at the crunch time b/c the wedding is 6.21.08 - in planning the shower she has asked for us to have a %26quot;Money Tree%26quot; or something like that as they need to pay for ALL of the wedding - the $$ that they receive will be 100% put towards the purchase of dinner, decorations, and flowers. I understand the situation and have agreed... but have NO idea how to proceed with the whole idea...any suggestions...and NOT NEGATIVE ones are appreciated. I have already been thru the whole its tacky thing...and would like any help that I can get! thank you!!

I am hosting a Shower for my b-n-l and his fiancee - they need wedding funds vs. gifts..sugestions?
you cannot ask for money versus gifts....no matter how you play it; get the gifts and return them......you will offend your guests.....
Reply:wow, that%26#039;s a tough one. back in the day, they had %26quot;fee%26quot; showers, which i would stay away from.





you can likely get away with a money tree. i would say something like, %26quot;for the couple who has everything!!!%26quot;





that way it doesn%26#039;t sound like you%26#039;re asking for money straight up.
Reply:Sorry, there is NO WAY to ask for money and have it not be tacky.





You could tell a few close friends on the side that is what they want.





The purpose of a shower is to provide the couple to be with items they will need for their home...not a fund raising event for their wedding.





You shouldn%26#039;t have agreed to the situation...it is tacky.





Here%26#039;s the thing, there are ways to cut the cost of a wedding.





1. Do your own invites on a computer at home...saves a ton


2. Consider doing the bridesmaids flowers yourself...order some flowers, tie them with a ribbon that matches the dresses..you could even do the brides.


3. Have a friend videotape...trust me you never look at it after the 1st year. This can be in exchange for a gift.


4. Consider going dry at the reception--or just beer and wine


5. Get married on a Friday everything is cheaper


6. Have a friend DJ





I was lucky, my parents paid for mine, but there are ways to cut costs!
Reply:I%26#039;m sorry, but you%26#039;ve come to the wrong place to ask questions about how to get money and not gifts. People here (me included) think it%26#039;s tacky. I%26#039;d say about 99% of the people would answer this question either negatively, or tell you to have them postpone the wedding till they can afford it.





I%26#039;m in a good mood right now - so I%26#039;m being nice, and not saying what I normally would, but you%26#039;re going to get slammed for asking about %26quot;money trees%26quot;, %26quot;dollar dances%26quot;, and %26quot;cash donations for the wedding%26quot;.





Sorry.
Reply:Unfortunately there is no way to ask for money without it being rude and tasteless. The best thing that you can do at this point is to help them have a ceremony within their budget and let them grow up. You do not need to take on the stress of this at all - you see like a caring person with a big heart and that is wonderful.





There is no problem in letting them know that everyone is tight with the economy right now so why not do a simple/yet wonderful wedding and have them save to do a vow renewal for an anniversary in a year or more that is more of the wedding that they really want.





Take it from me - we didn%26#039;t have anyone help us and we ended up getting married at the courthouse and will be renewing our vows with the ceremony of my dreams in our church for our 10th anniversary. It is not uncommon or tacky and if anyone says so ignore them.
Reply:Honestly, there is no way to do it. The best idea is to just plan an inexpensive afternoon wedding with cake and punch after the ceremony. Costco sells sheet cakes for about $16 that feed 48 people and you can provide punch, mints and other snack foods easily for under $200.





As others have already indicated, the marriage itself is the most important part of the day. Everything else is just trappings. As a guest, I would be happier to attend a simple afternoon wedding, than a big affair that I had to subsidize prior to the event. To me, a wedding loses some of it%26#039;s beauty when the couple is requesting guests to contribute towards the event.





Best wishes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Reply:register at bed, bath and beyond; it%26#039;s the only place that allows you to return gifts for cash.
Reply:If you truly want to help them - then help them plan a wedding that they can afford. Why spend money you don%26#039;t have and get all stressed over one day in your life? It%26#039;s the marriage that matters, not the fairy tale. Be a true friend and help them feel good about doing the right thing.



computer